8:00am Sunday 6th January 2008
By Guardian-series
THE period between the December holidays and Valentine's Day is national break-up season, with as many as four out of ten of us re-assessing our relationships.
Siobhain Crosbie works at APS Counselling in George Lane, South Woodford said: "A lot of people split up at the beginning of the year as they start to contemplate their lives," she said.
"The media portrays Christmas as a time full of happiness and celebration, but for many it's actually a very difficult period, full of emotional stress."
According to the Family Mediation Council, a quarter of the population know someone who has split up at new year, and around 1.8 million couples fear that this Christmas may have been the last straw for their relationships.
Karen Bowden also works as a counsellor in George Lane, specialising in work with couples.
She said: "January is always my busiest time because over Christmas people are thrown together in stressful situations. Stress can contribute to relationship problems and make them much harder to deal with."
As the festive season draws to a close, many couples find their relationships have reached the end of the line too.
CRYSTAL WILDE reports VALENTINE'S Day might be the next big date in our diaries, and there are many who blame the break-up boom on a culture which idealises romantic bliss.
Ms Crosbie said: "It's extremely unrealistic for people to think a relationship should be perfect. It would be very unhealthy not to have any disputes as this means emotions are being suppressed."
The Rev Robert Spingett of Christchurch Church in Wanstead Place also believes the perfect relationship is just a fantasy.
He said: "Relationships are difficult and require hard work to keep them going.
"When people suffering difficulties come to me I tell them to seek help and talk through their problems."
Forty per cent of marriages now end in divorce, but according to Ms Bowden, it is not because our relationships are in crisis.
She said: "People do seem to separate more easily, but women have a lot more freedom and rights now so don't feel they have to stay in a relationship if they're unhappy."
But while the end may be nigh for some, it's not all doom and gloom.
"Every week the Guardian carries family announcements from people who have been married 40, 50, or even 60 years.
Among them are Ethel and Bob McGuire who celebrated their diamond wedding anniversary on December 20 and shared with us their secrets for a happy marriage.
Mr McGuire said: "We have survived thanks to a mutual feeling of love for each other and the ability to always consider each other's feelings and views.
"We've never really found the festive season stressful because we've always had family around and managed to avoid getting into debt."
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