SHOWS
To Oct 12
Speed the Plow - satire focusing on Hollywood by David Mamet, Broadway Theatre, Catford Broadway, Catford, 8pm, £7/£5 conc, 020 8698 0002.
To Oct 13
The Maias - play charting decline of a wealthy family and the incestuous relationship between an unsuspecting brother and sister, Greenwich Playhouse, Greenwich Station Forecourt, Greenwich High Road, 7.45pm, £10/£8 conc, 020 8858 9256.
To Oct 5
Dial M for Murder - thriller centred around blackmail, murder and intrigue, with Tony Scannel, star of The Bill, Stag Theatre, London Road, Sevenoaks, 8pm, £12/£10/£6 conc, 01732 450175.
The Cemetery Club - comedy about three Jewish widows who visit their husband's graves each month, Wickham Theatre Centre, Corkscrew Hill, West Wickham, 7.45pm, membership required, 020 8777 3037.
Oct 2-5
Magyar Melodies - musical comedy, Bob Hope Theatre, Eltham, 7.30pm, £9/£7.50 conc, 020 8650 4569.
Oct 2-12
Lucky Stiff - musical about a man taking his dead uncle to Monte Carlo to win $6 million, Barn Theatre, Rose Bruford College, Burnt Oak Lane, Sidcup, 7.30pm, £6/£4 conc, 07786 617891. (see shows)
Oct 3 & 4
Curtains - black comedy from Stephen Bill performed by the Hayes Players, Hayes Village Hall, Hayes, 8pm, £5, 020 8462 5194.
Oct 4
Woman Wizard - Robert Llewellyn, Perrier Award-nominated star of Red Dwarf, with his own show, Broadway Theatre, Catford Broadway, Catford, 8pm, £12.50/£10.50, 020 8690 0002. (see shows)
Oct 5
The Gasman Cometh - celebration of the absurdist wit and wickedly subversive lunacy of Flanders & Swann comedy, Mick Jagger Centre, Shepherds Lane, Dartford, 7.30pm, £8/£7 conc, 01322 291100. (see shows)
Oct 2-12
Sadly Solo Joe - story of New Yorker Joe Murphy's search for the right girl, or any girl for that matter! Greenwich Theatre, Crooms Hill, Greenwich, 8pm, £17/£15 conc, 020 8858 7755.
Oct 4-12
Rocky Horror Big 30 Show - rock n' roll musical which remains the ultimate party pick-me-up, still flirty and dirty at 30, Churchill Theatre, High Street, Bromley, 7.45pm, £21/£18/£16, 020 8460 6677.
Oct 8
The Changeling - 17th-Century love, murder and madness given contemporary interpretation by director Dawn Walton, Southwark Playhouse, Southwark Bridge Road, London, 7.30pm, £10/£6 conc, 020 7620 3494. (see shows)
Oct 9-12
Patience - play dealing with rivalry between two poets based loosely on Oscar Wilde and Algernon Swinburne, St Johns Church Hall, Church Avenue, Sidcup, 7.30pm, 020 8467 6749.
DANCE
Oct 4
English Country Dancing - dance in the English tradition, St Barnabus Church Hall, Perth Road, Beckenham, 8pm, £2, 020 8777 3336.
Oct 5
Angika: Pulse of Tala - regeneration of classical Bharata Natyam dance for a modern stage, Greenwich Dance Agency, Royal Hill, Greenwich, 7.30pm, £9/£7, 020 8293 9741.
Back to Basics - move and groove to the latest sounds of R n' B and Hip Hop, Greenwich Dance Agency, Borough Hall, Royal Hill, 2pm, £7/£5 conc, 020 8293 9741.
Oct 9
Salsa Vida - salsa dance night with DJ and professional dancers, Sahara Club, Lewisham High Street, Lewisham, £5/£3, 7.30pm, 020 8690 4036.
Oct 10
Sidcup Salsa - dance party night with the theme of uniforms including tuition, Marlowe Rooms, Station Road, Sidcup, 8.30pm, £5, 07956 545666.
ARTS
To Nov 4
Solitary Beginnings - Adele Love, painter and photographer, producers first solo exhibition, Time Bar, College Approach, Greenwich, 5pm-11pm, free, 020 8305 9767.
To Oct 11
Earth and Heaven, Heaven and Earth - exhibition of new paintings and ceramics by Este Macleod, 6.30pm-9.30pm, Greenwich Village Gallery, Turnpin Lane, Greenwich, 020 8858 2290.
Oct 1-11
Studio Landscapes - landscape design in partnership with Bromley Field Studies Centre, The Studio, Beckenham Road, Beckenham, 9am-5.30pm, free, 020 8663 0103.
Oct 4-26
Expressions of Soul - group of artist display work drawn form cultural themes as part of Black History Month, Arthouse Gallery, Lewisham Way, New Cross, 11am-6pm Wed-Sat, free, 020 8244 3168.
To Oct 12
Patricia Tucker - exhibition of watercolours and oil paintings, Ripley Arts Centre, Sundridge Avenue, Bromley, 7.30pm-9.30pm, 020 8464 5816.
Art Exhibition - acrylic paintings & figurative ceramic sculptures of dreamlike landscape and angels, by Este Macleod, Greenwich Village Gallery, Turnpin Lane, Greenwich, free, 020 8858 2290.
To Oct 23
Riverside - series of photographs by Mickey Donoghue, Citizens Gallery, Powis Street, Woolwich.
To Apr 27
Oceans of Discovery - remarkable tales from the world's most famous explorers such as Captain Cook and Jacques Cousteau, National Maritime Museum, Greenwich, £3, 020 8312 6790/6545.
To Dec 1
David Wilkie: 1785-1841 Painter of Everyday Life - exhibition of work by one of the most spectacularly successful careers of any British artist, Dulwich Picture Gallery, Gallery Road, Dulwich, Mon closed, Tues-Fri 10am-5pm, weekends 11am-5pm, £7/£6/£3/children free, 020 8693 5254.
To Dec 29
Lace Fans for Ladies exhibition of lace fans as used by high-society women, Fan Museum, Crooms Hill, Greenwich, 10am-5pm, £3.50/£2.50, 020 8305 1441.
COMEDY
Oct 4
Robert Llewellyn - new show from Scrap Heap Challenge frontman called Woman Wizard training men how to deal with long-term relationships, Broadway Theatre, Catford, 8pm, £12.50/£10.50 conc, 020 8690 0002. (see shows)
Simon Evans, Mark Walker & Mike Wilmot, Up the Creek, Creek Road, Greenwich, 8pm, £10/£6 conc, 020 8858 4581.
Francesca Martinez, Trevor Crook & Simon Evans, Up the Creek Too, Brighton Road, Croydon, 8pm, £10/£6 conc, 020 8293 4077.
Oct 5
Chris Addison, Mark Walker & Simon Evans, Up the Creek, Creek Road, Greenwich, 7pm, £14, conc £10, 020 8858 4581.
Simon Evans, Cole Parker & Mike Wilmot, Up the Creek Too, Brighton Road, Croydon, £14/£10, 7pm, 020 8293 4077.
Oct 6
Chris Addison, Simon Evans & Mike Wilmot, Up the Creek, Creek Road, Greenwich, £6/£4 conc, 8pm, 020 8858 4581.
Oct 10
Al Murray - as his favourite character, The Pub Landlord, Broadway Theatre, Catford, 8pm, £16.50, 020 8690 0002. (see shows)
Oct 11
Jimmy Carr, Patrick Monohan & Jeff Innocent, Up the Creek, Creek Road, Greenwich, 8pm, £10/£6 conc, 020 8858 4581.
Jeff Innocent, Alistair Barry & Raymond & Mr Timkins Revue, Up the Creek Too, Brighton Road, Croydon, 8pm, £10/£6 conc, 020 8293 4077.
Jenny Eclair - talks about growing old gracelessly, her 40th birthday night out and parent-teacher associations, Stag Theatre, London Road, Sevenoaks, 8pm, £12/ conc, £10, 01732 450175.
JAZZ
Oct 2
Julia Doig & Dave Ramm - swinging vocal/piano pair, Pizza Express, High Street, Orpington, 7.45pm, 01689 833811.
Roy Williams & Dave Herridge - virtuoso trombonist & ever-ready pianist, Pizza Express, High Street, Beckenham, 7.45pm, 020 8650 0593.
Club Tabou - gypsy jazz guitar duo raises the roof, Pizza Express, Bluewater, 7.45pm, 01322 427526.
Oct 3
New Uptown Gang - shamelessly mixing it downtown, United Services Club, Main Road, Sidcup, 8.30pm, £5.
Oct 4
Delta Jazz Band - featuring drummer Colin Bowden, Farnborough Sports Club, High Street Farnborough, 8.30pm, 01689 603299.
Oct 5
Sandra Lawrence & Phil Mead - songs, piano & three-course dinner, Clarendon Hotel, Montpellier Row, Blackheath, 8pm, £25, 020 8318 4321.
Oct 6
Tony Barber Trio - debonair drummer delights diners, Marriott Hotel Restaurant, Broadway Bexleyheath, 1pm, 020 8298 1000.
John China - solo pianist adds lunchtime spice, Clarendon Hotel, Montpellier Row, Blackheath, 8pm, £25, 020 8318 4321.
Julia Farino - theatrical chanteuse, Prima Donnas, Red Lodge Road, West Wickham, 7.30pm, 020 8777 8433.
Oct 7
Lisa Kavanagh - effervescent vocalist, Prima Donnas, Red Lodge Road, West Wickham, 7.30pm, 020 8777 8433.
Dave Gelly & Les Simons Band - relaxed, Lester Youngish sax player, King's Head, High Street, Bexley, 8.30pm, £5, 01322 527803.
Oct 8
Dave Miller - venue's favourite solo pianist, Pizza Express, Widmore Road, Bromley, 7.45pm, 020 8464 2708.
Oct 9
Sax Appeal Quintet - Derek Nash & Gary Plumley lead afternoon workshop & evening concert, Mick Jagger Centre, Shepherd's Lane Dartford, 8pm, £6/£4, 01322 291100.
Helen Keating & Phil Snack - guest spot for vocal/sax duo, Bob Hope Theatre, Wythfield Road, Eltham, 8.30pm, £3.
Kit Packham & Perry White - kings of jumping jive & boogie, Pizza Express, High Street, Beckenham, 7.45pm, 020 8650 0593.
Lisa Kavanagh & Dominic Ashworth - sparkling vocal/guitar duo, Pizza Express, Bluewater, 7.45pm, 01322 427526.
ROCK/POP
Oct 4
Anne Nicholas - slightly jaded look at the trials and tribulations of love expressed through songs, St Andrews Arts Centre, Royal Pier Road, Gravesend, 8pm, £4/£3.50 conc, 01474 326140.
Oct 5
Amor and Little Egypt - two the UK's better-known rock bands, The Cartoon, London Road, Croydon, 8pm, £6, 020 8239 1616.
Oct 6
Answers on a Postcard - Stan the Man's band, The Cartoon, London Road, Croydon, 8pm, free, 020 8239 1616.
Oct 7
Electric Jam - all musicians and singers welcome, guitars, drums, keyboards provided, The Alexandra, Parish Lane, Penge, 9pm, free, 020 8776 7694.
Oct 8
Violet High - local alternative metal bands, The Cartoon, London Road, Croydon, 8pm, £3, 020 8239 1616.
Oct 11
Helen Shapiro Farewell Concert - long-time popstar hits the stage for the last time supported by guests including Kenny Ball, Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, 8pm, £16.50/£14.50 conc, 020 868 9291. (see music)
Flamin Slade - Slade tribute band, The Cartoon, London Road, Croydon, 8pm, £6, 020 8239 1616.
FOLK/COUNTRY
Oct 3
Paul Sirman - sea shanties, traditional & contemporary folk music, Orpington Folk Club, Anglesae Arms, Kent Road, Orpington, 8.15pm, 01689 885716.
Oct 4
Dave's Stepin Country Disco - country sounds from Dave's Wheels of Steel, Littlebrook Power Station Sports Club, Dartford, 7.30pm, £5, 020 8302 2390.
Oct 8
Rag Mama Rag - Gallic folk band all the way from France add a "Euro" flavour to proceedings, Dartford Folk Club, Dartford Working Men's Club, Essex Road, Dartford, 8.30pm, 01322 222553.
Oct 10
Singers and Musicians Night - all welcome to come and perform, Orpington Folk Club, Anglesae Arms, Kent Road, Orpington, 8.15pm, 01689 885716.
Oct 15
Jim McClean Band - long-time folk rockers simply get rockin', Dartford Folk Club, Dartford Working Men's Club, Essex Road, Dartford, 8.30pm, 01322 222553.
CLASSICAL/OPERA
Oct 4
Magical Moments with the Mossman Singers - songs from the shows and excerpts from Brahms' Gypsy Songs, Farningham Village Hall, Farningham, 8pm, £5, 01689 828652.
Oct 6
The Philharmonia Orchestra - renditions of music by Mozart, Brahms and Carse, Broadway Theatre, Catford, 3pm, £15/£12 conc, 020 8690 0002.
Oct 8
Helen Reid - plays piano sonatas by Provokiev & Janacek among other gems, Blackheath Halls, Lee High Road, Blackheath, 8pm, £8/£5, 020 8463 0100.
Oct 9
Innocent Ears? - Ian Bailey explores whether preconceptions are inevitable when listening to music, Orpington Library, Church Hill, Orpington, 7.45pm, 01689 827284.
Oct 11
Franciscan Babes - religious & classical music & songs from the shows in aid of the Children's Society, All Saints' Church, Bark Hart Road, Orpington, 7.30pm, £5, 01689 832031.
LECTURES/DAYS OUT
Oct 5
Soul Food 4 All - learn more about Caribbean food, culture & tradition in this masterclass in Nouvelle Caribbean, Horniman Museum, London Road, Forest Hill, 2pm-5pm, £6, 020 8291 8690.
Oct 7
An Audience with Ruby Wax - evening with the top comedienne, Large Hall, Bromley Central Library, 7pm, £4, tickets from Ottakar's bookstore, The Glades, Bromley, 020 8460 6037. (see shows)
Oct 11
Cookery demonstration by Mary Berry - based on her new book, Cook Now, Eat Later, Ottakar's bookstore, The Glades, Bromley, noon, 020 8460 6037.
CHILDREN
Oct 5
Aladdin and his Wonderful Lamp - colourful & funny version of popular story with glove and rod puppets, Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road, Croydon, 11am, suitable for children aged three-seven, £3.50/£4.50, 020 8680 4060.
Oct 12
Ling Chung the Dragon - selfish Emperor stops his people from using his garden, Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road, Croydon, 11am, £4.50/£3.50 conc, 020 8680 4060.
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