Some years ago, when we first had kids, we discussed why, when you live in a place, you never seem to do the tourist thing.
That moment led to a pact to visit the sites on our doorstep, in this case, London, and that mission is now fully complete and then some.
In recent years, and with youngsters in tow, we have been scores of times to the London Eye, the Natural History Museum, Buckingham Palace, the Houses of Parliament, Trafalgar Square, Covent Garden and Oxford Street.
The issue is now one of boredom.
I vaguely remember someone once saying if you’re bored of London, you’re bored of life, or maybe I’ve imagined that, or maybe that is a tagline used by numerous cities across the globe, but, anyhow, it has all become a little bit dull.
On a recent ‘pass’ when I was given the run of the city, under the guise of producing a middle-aged vlog, I drew a list of places I should, could or would visit the next day.
Soho ain’t what it was, and all the places I had on my bucket list but haven’t managed to visit yet are still on that list due to their inaccessibility or location.
Top of that list is Highgate Cemetery which, once I had got to the half an hour walk section of the ‘how to get here’ guide, I gave up. Ditto with Abbey Road where I have driven over the fabled pelican crossing a few times. On each occasion it was unplanned, and I was in a rush, and I was wary of being ticketed or running over a few members of the Japanese Beatles fan club, so I drove on.
And so, lacking inspiration, and as a curveball, I Googled ‘worst things to do in London.’
The list included ‘spending rush hour on the central line’ (been there, done that), ‘a trip to Brick Lane’ to get, and I quote the Telegraph ‘hassled by Curry salesmen.’
I did consider that one as I love a curry in the lane near Liverpool Street, but each time I go and eat there, I just want to sleep and couldn’t face travelling back afterwards so gave it a swerve.
‘Driving in London’ was a nonstarter, literally, as was, strangely, ‘cycling around the Elephant and Castle roundabout’ (which I have done having lived in the dregs of the city for five years or so during my 20s).
The London Dungeon, Madam Tussauds or ‘get drunk’ were also, to me, old hat so I turned around, somewhere in a urine-stained back street near Charing Cross, and made my way back home!
- Brett Ellis is a teacher.
