A TRAUMATIC eight hours stuck in a toilet inspired a pensioner to write a poem about her experience.

Firefighters found Ethel Dyall naked on the bathroom floor when they broke in to free her from captivity after she slipped off the “throne” and could not get up.

The 83-year-old had removed her “Sunday best” in the belief it may help her get back on her feet but continued to slip in the laminat floor and remained helpless.

The pensioner had returned home from a service at All Saints Church at around 3pm on Sunday, April 5, when the accident happened.

She said: “I had to go to the toilet. When I got up from the throne I slipped on the floor and couldn't get up.

I didn't think I was going to make it.”

Mrs Dyall added: “To pass the time I thought of what my former lovers would be doing now. I think most of them are probably dead. It's something I do when I can't get to sleep.

“Then I decided what kind of hymns I would like sung at my funeral. I also considered what flowers I would want. I want roses. Lilies look so typical of funerals.”

The poem, entitled Ethel’s Dilemma, has been published in the All Saints Church magazine.

It includes the lines: “Oh dear, this causes me great stress. Nerves are in shreds, I’m in a mess. Quiver and shake to no avail: Oh guardian angels, please don’t fail”.

Mrs Dyall ordeal was ended when her grandson Max Whitehouse, 28, returned to the home in Temperton Avenue, Chingford, at 10.30pm and raised the alarm. She was taken to hospital, where she remained for eight hours.

“I told them I didn't want to go. But I was persuaded. I've not got a clean bill of health although I had some bruising and felt uncomfortable for quite some time afterwards,” she said.

Explaining why she decided to write the poem, she said: “I believe it's better to laugh about these things than be serious.”